“I’m so scared to trust God with my love life,” she confessed. As a single, I had the same fear: If I chose to trust God with my love life, would He interpret my “surrender” as an irretrievable permission slip to withhold my greatest desire from me?
(He didn’t, by the way.) But for years, it looked like He might.
Can you relate to this fear? I imagine you can to some degree, in some area of your life. After all, every human has struggled to trust their Creator ever since the beginning. (See Genesis 3 for proof of that.)
Scared to Give God Control
This particular young woman told me, “I’m so afraid that if I give God control, He’ll keep me single forever, and my one true desire is to share my life with someone.”
I don’t want to minimize her fear, but it’s important to remember that God already controls all things, whether we “give” Him permission to or not. There is nothing in this universe—or in your life—He does not rule and reign over. As 1 Samuel 2:6—7 says of the LORD, He:
- Kills and brings to life,
- Makes poor and makes rich,
- Brings low and exalts.
Thankfully, we don’t serve a cruel God with a sick, twisted sense of humor who takes delight in giving us what we hate. Matthew 7:9–11 tells us just the opposite:
“Which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!”
But what if you’ve been asking and asking, and He still hasn’t given you what you want?
Scared to Trust God Because He Still Hasn’t Given What You Want
As a woman who had to wait until I was 32 to marry, I can attest that God’s timing isn’t ours. He’s often working out deeper, eternal purposes in and through our lives while we’re fixated on that one thing we want more than anything. (See Romans 8:29 to see what His top priority is for us.)
As you wait on Him, I encourage you to:
- Keep bringing your gut-wrenchingly honest desires to Him in prayer.
- Rest confident in God’s perfect love for you. If you’re in Christ, you can have complete assurance of His delight in you—not because He gives you everything you want right when you want it—but because the Father gave up His beloved Son to absorb His righteous wrath for your sin. Keep trusting His good heart. He has a perfect track record so far; yours isn’t the first life He’s gonna mess up. Let His unmatched love spur you to run to Him with all your fears today.
- Continue to get to know God yourself. You can’t trust someone you don’t know. It’s one thing to hear someone else say God can be trusted with your love life and another altogether to get to know Him until you know that for yourself. Be patient; it’s a process. But do pursue Him every day.
I’d love to hear from you. Are you scared to trust God with your love life? If so, what baby step can you take today to grow your trust in Him?
If You’re (Still) Scared to Trust God with Your Love Life
In Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl, I encourage you to trust God with your love life—and buckle up for the ride. If you haven’t read my book yet, grab your copy here.
If you want to hear more about the book first, I highly recommend listening to this interview with the Girl Defined show. Listen on Apple Podcast, Google Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you catch your podcasts.
Paula (Hendricks) Marsteller is a compassionate, bold Christian communicator offering you gospel hope, thought-provoking questions, and practical help along the way.
Paula, this is a very well-timed post. I think a lot of women can relate to the message the young woman sent you. Myself included. But I am very grateful for your response and reminders of the truth in God’s love. “Being in a relationship isn’t a ‘right’ and being single isn’t an accident.” This statement is so powerful, but one that we often overlook because it is easy to fall into the comparison game. Thank you for the beautiful reminder that our singleness serves a purpose as well! Be blessed!
You’re right, Bree. I’ve received lots of similar messages, and I was there myself for most of my single years. You are not alone.
But He IS trustworthy, despite our doubts. One of my elders recently said, “Faith is only as valuable as the thing [or One] trusted.” You will not be put to shame when your trust is in Christ.
Great to hear from you, Bree. 🙂 Praying for you now.
Well-timed in with Valentine’s day! It is so hard to focus on God when He isn’t here physically, you know? Do you have any advice on that? I mean sometimes I just want a hug which a guy could give me but God can’t 🙁
Hey, Bookworm1,
I understand. I do. Check out this post for more on that topic: https://www.paulawrites.com/2015/04/14/god-hold-crush/.
In the meantime, know that if you’ve put all your trust in Jesus, you will live with God—the One who is love—forever. You will be with the One who has given you so much more than a hug; He has given up His very life so you might be His for all eternity.
Also, spend some time thinking about John 16:7. Jesus tells His followers just before His death, “Nevertheless, I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage that I go away, for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you. But if I go, I will send him to you.”
If you have been born again, God has sent His very Spirit to live inside of you to guide you into all truth, to give you power for living. It doesn’t get much closer than that!
Praying for you now,
paula
Thanks so much for sharing this Paula. Just now discovering your blog. Awesome work!
Thank you so much for your encouragement, Anna!