“I’m so scared to trust God with my love life,” she confessed. As a single, I had the same fear: If I chose to trust God with my love life, would He interpret my “surrender” as an irretrievable permission slip to withhold my greatest desire from me?
“Are you drawn to other men after marriage? Does your heart still wander toward them?” Several of you have asked me variations of this question since I wrote Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl, so I thought I’d answer publicly.
How boy crazy are you? (Or that daughter of yours?) You might be surprised. Maria wrote, “I never thought I was the boy crazy type, but when I honestly answered the boy crazy quiz, I realized I crush on guys a lot. This quiz was a good reality check.” Take the “How Boy Crazy Are …
Hey, girls. Now that we’ve tackled these two questions: How boy-crazy are you? Is it really all that bad that I’m boy-crazy? It’s time for the third and most important question: What can I do about my boy-craziness?
After taking my “How Boy-Crazy Are You” Quiz, one girl asked me a great question:
Wow, I didn’t know I was that boy crazy!!! So here’s my question: What should we do about it? And is it really bad? I’m not as crazy over them as some girls, but still . . .
What a great question! This girl isn’t the only one who wonders if boy-craziness is really all that bad. I’ve had others comment on how “normal” boy-craziness is. One mom texted me, “I think you were a little too hard on yourself.”
Was I? I wondered. But not for long. Boy-craziness isn’t something to mess around with.
Now, let me start by stating the obvious. God made guys and girls, males and females (Gen. 1:27). Marriage was His idea (Gen. 2:24). “Liking” someone of the opposite sex—being attracted to them—isn’t sinful in and of itself.
But there’s a world of difference between thinking a guy is cute and being obsessed. You know you officially have a problem:
Not only is boy-craziness harmful for you, I’d go even further and say it’s treason against God. Where do I get that crazy idea?
In Jeremiah 2:13, for starters. God is not pleased here:
“My people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water.”
God’s people didn’t literally pick up their tools, go outdoors, and begin digging a pit to collect run-off water; God is painting a vivid word picture here. His people have left the best and only source of life available to them (a.k.a. Him, the Fountain of living waters). They have settled for stale-tasting water polluted with dirt and twigs and bugs. Not only that, but their water source leaks. It’s broken and useless!
Makes me think of Romans 1:25 where people “exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever!”
Let me be straight with you. Boy-craziness is an insult to the One who created boys in the first place. We—guys and girls alike—were ultimately made for our Creator. We’ll never be satisfied (for long!) with anything or anyone less.
If heart idolatry (what I just described) isn’t enough to convince you that boy-craziness is sober sin, how about this? Galatians 5:19–26 contains two lists: the works of the flesh and the fruit of the Spirit. Here are just a few of the “works of the flesh” that were the everyday norm in my boy-crazy life:
Me, I’m convinced boy-craziness is a serious, serious problem. Treason, actually.
I know I’ve told you how I see things, but what about you? Do you see your boy-craziness as idolatry, or do you see it as an innocent (but bothersome) issue almost every girl struggles with? Oh, and why?
“Let him go. Move on, already,” your friends insist. “You should be over him by now.” After all, it has been months. Maybe even years. But still, he haunts your thoughts—dropping by frequently, oblivious to the fact that he’s not welcome—threatening to sabotage not only your past but your present. Like a shackle attached to …