Is It Wrong to Ask God for a Husband?

Is It Wrong to Ask God for a Husband?

I’m a words girl—not a numbers girl—so I almost never look at the True Woman blog stats. But that changed a couple months ago when I was asked to give a presentation about the blog. Our web director pulled some stats for me, and while the numbers didn’t stick for long, one piece of surprising information did.

The most searched for phrase that leads women to this site (after “True Woman”) is “praying for a husband.” The fifth most searched for phrase is . . . “how to pray for a husband.” The sixth is “31 days of prayer for my husband” (a helpful prayer guide by Nancy Leigh DeMoss).

It’s more than okay to get honest with God about my desires.

This finding is just confirmed by the fact that one of our most popular blog posts from the archives continues to be one written over three years ago titled “How to Pray for a Future Husband.”

Turns out I’m not the only woman out there who’s honed in on relationships—and particularly male relationships.

But I wonder if any of you are stuck where I was a couple years ago. It may sound silly, but I found myself wondering, Is it sinful to keep asking God for a husband? After all, I’d been seeking that—asking for that—for years, and the door appeared to be sealed shut. God seemed to thwart my plan for marriage at every turn.

Three Takeaways from Jesus’ Prayer

So I began to ask God if it was okay to continue to ask Him for a husband. A few days later, while reading about the night of Jesus’ arrest, I found my answer—tucked right there in the olive groves of Gethsemane. Let’s take a look:

He . . . began to be greatly distressed and troubled. And he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death.” . . . Going a little farther, he fell on the ground and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him. And he said, “Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.” (Mark 14:33–36)

I left God’s Word that morning with my answer:

1. It’s more than okay to get honest with God about my desires.

I was taken back as I read this passage. Really? Jesus prayed that He might not have to die? But He was God. He knew He had to face the cross—that’s the whole reason He came to earth! Still, Jesus was also fully man. And in His humanity, He asked the Father for a way out.

2. It’s not against the rules to be a broken record.

In Matthew 26:44 we learn that Jesus prayed this prayer three times in a row: “He went away and prayed for the third time, saying the same words again.” Jesus didn’t let up. Three times He repeated the same request. That encourages me that I can ask, and ask, and ask God again for my heart’s desire.

3. I can keep asking as long as I don’t demand my way.

“Nevertheless,” Jesus always added, “not as I will, but as you will. Your will be done.”
This tells me I can keep asking as long as I don’t demand my way but surrender to God’s plan for my life. That’s what Paul Miller points out in A Praying Life:

“Jesus neither suppresses his feelings nor lets them master him. . . . Desire and surrender are the perfect balance to praying.”

After that I began praying, asking boldly, for God to send an amazing husband my way in His perfect timing. I even recruited others to pray with me. I’ve slacked off recently, but that’s another story for a different day.

I’m curious about you, though. Have you wrestled with this dilemma? If so, what has God shown you? Whether it’s asking God for a husband—or something else entirely—are you demanding your desires, or are you bringing them to your Father?

Is It Wrong to Ask God for a Husband?” was originally posted on

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